What Causes Shyness And How To Help A Shy Child

Shyness is an emotion, like any other, that a human being feels at different situations and times in life. But we, as parents, do see it as a bit of a shortcoming when it comes to shyness in our kids. Some kids tend be more reserved naturally than others but all of us want our child to be the one who is bold and a go-getter. Believe it or not, it is NOT a problem. In this article, we will be talking about how to help a shy child.

Before getting on with how you can help your child overcome shyness, you have to remember that all kids are different. Shy or reserved kids may like to take a back seat in most events but they are the ones that tend to be better observers and learners. So you should let your child develop his own personality and don’t push him into being a bold one.

Also, shyness has a very big genetic component, meaning one is not made shy but born shy. But most shy children do evolve into being more socially confident by the time they hit their teen years.

1Prepare your kid for the social event

Now whether it is the first day of (pre-school) or a birthday party, do a bit of a warm-up with your kid so that he is not overwhelmed by the sudden transition. In most schools, they will gradually increase your kid’s timings so that he gets used to the new setting. Any sudden new event will make your kid socially awkward. And if it is a social gathering your baby has to be at, say, a birthday party, you could ask the host to come early so your shy child could be comfortable.

2Don’t push your child into socializing

No matter how bad you want your kid to be out-going, bold and confident, it is never a wise idea to push into being one. The more you enforce a behavior, the more likely he is to be submissive. Also, it would be a good idea to have his friends come over to your place instead of him going over to theirs. This way by giving a comfortable environment to your child will make him more at ease.

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3Avoid the use of the word “shy”

You have to remember that being shy is not a negative trait. It is just a part of the temperament of a kid. If taken positively by parents, a lot of “shy” kids grow out to be independent and confident adults. However, the more you ingrain it in your kid by repeatedly saying “don’t be shy” “you’re so shy” etc…, the more timid he tends to become. So as much as you can, try and encourage the child by using anything but the word shy.

4Putting him in the spot is a big NO

This is something every parent is guilty of doing. Whenever their child learns something new or does something well, they want to show it off to others. And when suddenly you ask your child to “sing a song” or “do your dance”, it instantly triggers a child into running for cover behind mommy. The ideal thing would be to ask your child’s permission if he wants to show his skills to anyone. This way they will become more comfortable and do as you please gradually.

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5Never look down upon a child for being reserved

One mistake we quite often commit is that of discouraging a child when he doesn’t do or act as we expect him to. Being shy is no fault of the little one. The more you appreciate the little things your child does, the more likely he is to become confident. Even if he takes social relationships extremely cautiously, be rest assured that he will be just fine if you let him be.

Do you have a reserved kid yourself? How has your experience raising him been? What did you do to make him more confident? Let our readers know.